A Swing and a Ms
by DyNaMoDave
Summary: Here, Dale is frustrated with Foxglove and decides to seek out Monty's advice on women, romance, dating, and that ever so delicate subject, "The Birds and the Bees."


"A Swing a Ms."

"Come on, Dale. Just give me a push, it'll be fun." Foxy the bat looked over her shoulder at her friend, Dale the chipmunk. Dale, who sometimes was said to be unable to see the forest for the trees, just shrugged.

"I don't get it, you can fly. Why would you want to play on a swing?"

"Because, it's fun, and romantic too. It's always romantic in the movies when the fella is pushing the girl on a swing. Don't you think so?" She positively purred the last sentence.

Dale looked at her and at the swing Monty had installed as a surprise for Gadget. Gadget had been moping about lately because the anniversary of her dad's death had just passed. In a very touching gesture, Monty had constructed the swing on a limb near the main headquarter's entrance. He had no idea what events that simple little swing would cause and lead to.

Foxy had leaned way back in the swing and was essentially looking at Dale from an upside down view. She smirked at her reluctant boyfriend, "Kinda reminds you of that Spiderman scene, don't it?" Foxy had become a true movie buff in order to have something in common with Dale. She was getting better at trivia too, having beaten him in several recent games. Even Dale had to admit, she was trying. Dale on the other hand, still seemed reluctant to go really public with his feelings for Foxglove. Oh, he'd give her a quick hug here and there, or a surreptitious kiss when nobody was around, but that was it.

"Doesn't it make you want to...do something?" Dale looked her and blinked a couple of times, kissed her really quick on the forehead, then gave her the push she wanted earlier! Contrary to popular belief, he was not the clueless comic relief he seemed to be. Pushing her on the swing seemed to be the only way to deal with the matter at hand. Her increasing passions and innuendos were becoming a touch unnerving, and dang if he knew how to deal with them! Monty had been around the block a time or two, maybe he could make some sense out of it.

Foxy just sighed and proceeded to enjoy the swinging. At this point with Dale, she'd take what she could get.

Later that night

Monterey Jack, a large kangaroo mouse, was relaxing and enjoying his favorite hobby which was stuffing his face with expensive and imported gourmet cheeses. Dale approached him and waited until he had finished swallowing his last bite before asking a pointed question.

Hi, Monty. Say, got a moment? It'll be quick."

"Sure, mate." Monty had no idea where this was going. He thought it would be something simple. Boy, was he wrong!

"What can you tell me about women?" Dale asked matter of factly.

Monty coughed and spluttered before exclaiming, "Crikey lad, I thought ya said quick!" Monty rubbed his head in exasperation, "What exactly is the matter, boy?"

"Foxy is driving me crazy!" Dale crossed his arms and frowned to make his point. "She never stops!"

"Never stops what, exactly?" Monty was more curious now. If there was something wrong with one of the team members, then it needed to be dealt with quickly before it caused trouble.

"Always talking about romance and kissing and stuff. I don't like it. It makes me...feel funny!"

"Oh, that. I've noticed, I have." Monty answered. "In fact, we all have."

"YOU'VE ALL NOTICED, AND NOT SAID NOTHING?" Dale was getting upset far too rapidly for Monty's liking.

"Easy, lad. Don't blow a seam. Tis' nothing to get all wrapped around the axle about. It's a natural thing." He put a comforting arm on Dale's shoulder and tried to ease his feelings.

"Natural, what are you talking about? If it was natural, I'd feel comfortable, and I surely don't!" Dale stepped away from Monty, so Monty removed his arm.

"Dale, sit." He pointed to a chair near the wall. "Let me try again. I think I have it now."

Dale did as he was instructed, and waited for Monty to start.

"Nature has a way wit' things, Dale. Time marches on and we're not getting any younger."

"I still feel like a kid, Monty." Dale was not impressed so far. "None of us have grey hair, either!"

"Reee-lax an' let me finish. Nobody lives forever. Have you noticed that Chip and Gadget are spending more time with one another lately? Zipper is seeing more of Queenie, and I'm even talkin' to Desiree again."

So, what's that have to do with it?" I wanna know about Foxy, not everybody else." Dale stood up as if to leave, and Monty gently pushed him back down.

"Hang on, Boy-o. Let me explain it this way. It's nature's way of preserving the species. Folks is pairing off and getting serious."

"Serious about what, Monty?" Dale really didn't get it, or maybe he did, but didn't know it yet.

"About marriage and mating and having kids. That's what." Monty finished, and waited for Dale to process all he had just heard.

"MARRIAGE AND MATING?" Dale was getting upset again. "Why, that means me and Foxy would...hafta...but I don't even know if I wanna get married! I don't know how to take care of kids! There's no comic book that even covers that kinda stuff!"

"Lad, you're gonna blow a seam in spite of yourself! Now, calm down. I'm not saying you and her have to run off and get hitched, but you might consider getting a bit more serious with her. Jes' take it a step at time, that's what dating is for. To find out...but could you say that would be a bad thing? You ARE ignoring her, and that's...well...hurting her feelings, and I know you're a nice guy, so it must be unintentional. Right, mate?"

Dale looked cornered, he HAD been ignoring Foxy, but NEVER to be mean or spiteful. He felt ashamed and didn't say anything.

Monty added a comforting end to his conversation. "Dale, I think deep down you'll agree with me. She's the best thing that ever happened to you. Next time you see her, and if it feels right, give 'er that kiss she wants. Best be quick about it tho, she might call it quits and go looking elsewheres."

Dale looked a bit distracted. There was so much to this dating thing that he was still so unfamiliar with!

The Next Day

Dale had been withdrawn the rest of the evening, and even went to bed early. Chip thought him uncharacteristically quiet, but when he went to bed, Chip didn't bother him and figured Dale would be his old self the next day. Whatever Dale was, it was certainly the topic of discussion for several days afterwards.

The following morning was pretty much the same as it always was. Everybody awoke, showered, ate, and poured over the old casefiles unless a new crime was present. Right now, there was a thankful lull in the activities which seemed to suit everybody just fine. Sometimes, it was great to just relax and recharge.

Dale's gaze wandered around the kitchen and surrounding rooms. He noticed right away something that seemed painfully obvious now that Monty had mentioned it. There WAS a pairing off of sorts going on. Zipper had already left, and Dale wondered if it was was for Queenie's. Monty seemed rather happy with things and was humming into his cellphone as he departed Ranger Headquarters. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out where HE was going.

Then there was the matter of Chip and Gadget. Giggling, they both hopped into the Ranger Wing and flew off. Dale didn't really care or want to know exactly where they were going, or what they were going to do when they got there. He turned around to go back to his room and ran slam into Foxglove! The impact caught them both off guard, and Foxglove, not wanting to hurt Dale, tried to catch him. His momentum threw them off balance and they tumbled with Dale wrapped in her wings. Being a good sport, she laughed it off.

"Hey, cutie! Next time use a turn signal, why don't cha?" She made a move to get up, but Dale's next comment gave her cause to pause.

"Your wings are kinda nice, they feel like furry quilts. I feel all snug and safe and comfy like."

Foxy just plain froze after that comment, Dale had never said anything so sweet and touching to her like that before!

"Well, nobody's here. We could lay here for a bit...I suppose."

"Foxglove, I need to apologize for something." Dale was beginning to open up, but Foxglove misunderstood.

"Oh, the collision? I don't mind, I don't mind at all." She smiled at him to say everything was just fine.

No, not that. If I don't say this now, I never will. I'm sorry for avoiding you, and keeping you at a distance. Just so you know, you ARE the best thing that happened to me, and I don't want you looking elsewhere."

Before the astonished Foxglove could respond to that bombshell, Dale reached up slowly, pulled her face to his, and kissed her, REALLY kissed her, for the first time. They kissed for several moments before Foxglove, nearly out of breath, unfurled her wings.

"WOW WOW WOWIE! I'm not looking elsewhere, not if you keep that up!

"I promise, but you hafta hold me in those wonderful wings of yours. I really do like it."

"Oh, I've got no problem with that, no problem at all." Dale smiled and looked outside. The only thing he saw was Gadget's swing, gently rocking in a light breeze.

"Say, would you like to go for a swing?"

THE END


End file.
